I am a doubt a minute!

I was gonna wait till tomorrow to blog but I'm tossing and turning in my bed...pondering things...so I figured I might as well blog now.
First of all, I hope everyone's having a great start of a week. So far so good on my side...I'm a little more assured this week so that can only be good. Laying in bed just a few mins ago, I was revisiting a conversation I had with my mum earlier today in which I kept negating
some positive assessment she was making of one of my situations...ok,ok, I'll say it, lol. She was telling me that she believes this guy I really like likes me a lot too, and I kept saying no no I don't think so. In the end, she asked, well do you not believe your dreams then? I responded no I don't anymore. She said, well ok then and left it at that. Reflecting back on this sentence a few mins ago, it dawned on me that this lack of belief on the cosmic and conscious realms really is
the recurring theme of my life... doubt in myself, life, what is promised to me, what I am worth, what I can do...it really is the source of every discomfort in my life. I mean even today my new boss told me that I should have warned him about something my gut had told me a week
ago...instead, I thought it wasn't my place and it would be inappropriate for me to say...again that ever present doubt, my most faithful companion, always there, never failing to limit me and raise up barriers...
So this is it. Every time I have felt bad in the past months, in fact the only times I felt bad, were when I let doubt get the best of me. Those are the times I dismiss my dreams as silly, unrealistic and unattainable. Dreams are so closely entertwined with hope, faith, joyful anticipation and excitement for the future-having them, believing in them means dwelling in possibility while eagerly awaiting their manifestation. But I'm so doubtful of them I wonder how I could truly
manifest them when I emanate such confusing signals. One day I'm assured, the next I can't possibly believe in any of them...yet I hold the belief that there is a reason certain dreams are placed in us, they are there because we can realize them...I must hold on to this belief and apply it to my daily life. I must learn to maintain positivity. I want to be consistently upbeat, fueled by some bold faith in possibility and an equally strong internal dialogue...I need to get to the root of my doubtfulness...I have strong reasons to believe the person who initiated this reflection today played an important part at the onset...gotta love our mothers, they were there at the beginning of EVERYTHING...lol.