Mantra

Give the Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you and
accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete. Above
all, trust in the slow work of God. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Wow, I've just read this on http://onceuponadiet.blogspot.com . Love it!
Seems like it should become my mantra as I mostly struggle with being patient and faithful in what is and is on its way. K.

Plan of attack

Ok, so in follow up to what I posted a few hrs ago, I realize I have to
have a plan of attack against my distructive conduct. So tomorrow, July
6 I will do the following:
1. Get my hair done, while there plan meals for the week
2. Stop by the mall and grocery shop for the week
THEN:
3. I will come home and revisit my weight loss blog, journals, biggest
loser, oprah weight loss shows
4. I will have a serious conversation with myself, try to uncover what's
going on and even if I can't quite figure it out, I will
5. Decide to get back and stay on track for the next 5 months.

I am considering rescheduling my august vacation. I think things might
get even worse if I go home for a month, where I am sure to indulge. I
think going in December might be wiser timing. K.

My work around here isn't done

Truth is I may have been too arrogant to think I had acquired full
control over my weight issue. It is now abundantly clear that I still
have a lot of work to do on myself. Yes I've accomplished quite a bit
and transformed my body and mind a lot. But my underlying issues,
whatever they are, are very much alive and kicking. I tamed them for a
while and they cooperated. They lied dormant for amost 2 year, but I
must now admit that I am completely out of control. I can't stay focused
for over 5 days and once I get going, I gorge on everything I can get my
hands on-irrespective of whether I am hgungry or not. It's like I sit
idly by and poof, my mind starts wondering, what more damage could I do
now, what more can I binge on? And without even attempting to stop
myself, I just give into whatever that thought is. Why am I doing this
to myself? What's going on? What am I running from or being anxious
about? Why do I keep sabotaging everything I've worked so hard for in
the past 2 and a half years? Luckily I've still not lost much ground, I
probably gained some 10 lbs which I can drop in no time, but I must
really get a hold and better understanding of what's eating at me.
K.